2020
Welp, we’re here. In a year of sacking, I advise everyone should be sacked at least once. Just to know what it feels like, to finally have been sacked. To be fair, I hesitated at first, but I like it now. Aside from the thrill of being sacked, there’s also a thrill to it for the outsider, who gets to see the sacking. I’ve worked sackseeing into my schedule. Between the hours of 7:00 AM to 8:00 AM, I walk to the local square to see what’s going on. If I’m sluggish, I’ll beg to be sacked; And, begging will, without a doubt, lead to sacking. If, on a particular morning, my body outside of my elbows and knees is pulsing, I won’t hesitate to sack. It doesn’t matter what accessories they have: a bead necklace, golden bones, a leather pouch between the legs, a platinum ring-everyone gets sacked. I’ve seen old ladies sacked by toddlers, I’ve seen toddlers sacked by men in suits, I’ve seen men in suits sacked by the homeless, I’ve seen the homeless sacked by Dorothy Wilson, I have not seen the homeless sacked by anyone other than Dorothy Wilson. Dorothy Wilson has deep-rooted issues. There’s nothing like waking up and seeing everyone’s sack, there’s a special smell in the air too. Huh? You’re confused about what sacking may or may not be? That speaks to the fact that you simply haven’t been and must be sacked. It’s a year of sacking and guess what comes after: Another year of sacking. I looked in the Sackbook and saw they’re not taking odds on it, which means it’s a definite. No question about it. You’ll be sacked. The more you fight it, the more you’ll be sacked. I can attest to that. It’s easier to accept it. After all, it is a year of sacking.
Werner Herzog’s answer to “Who are your heroes?”
Well, in childhood — in this village that was cut off from civilized world — there were lumbermen and some cattle farmers. We didn’t have running water or toilets and we barely had electricity and were hungry as children, but there was a young lumberman who was defying police, and right after the war, [he] started smuggling coffee from Austria.
He eluded police and made fools of them, playing the trumpet from one summit, and then police would rush up there to arrest him, and he had secretly snuck down into the valley, and on the other side, played his trumpet from the summit on the other side. For a fortnight, he held out and was not arrested. He was so strong; he had muscles like a bodybuilder because he was hoisting heavy logs.
A milk truck broke through the little bridge into the creek. And, of course, it needed a crane to hoist it out, but everybody called for Siegel Hans! Siegel Hans will come! He came, took off his shirt, and with his bulging muscles, tried to hoist the truck out of the creek. Of course, you cannot hoist 15 tons as a human being, but he tried it anyway. For us, he was a hero. (link to interview)
Confirmation Bias as Identity
If progression is linear, I’ll be old in five years. If it’s logarithmic, I’ll be old in an hour. I already have enough nose hair. David Foster Wallace’s thoughts on the consumer economy rings true always and always more true. Influencer-based media fills the gaps of modern day life. Hollywood isn’t dead, it’s TikTok. The buddy in your pocket is always begging for more, the silver screen that pings you, saying “Hey, look at me!” The supposedly fun thing you’ll continue with, sucking a pacifier. I could be among the group in any given society who looks to the past to be cynical of the present; But, when books, films and other modes of long-form media continually lose ground to catered 160 letter posts and 10 second videos, I can’t help but point fingers when I see articles about truth decay in public life. I’m missing the point a little.
I am a seeker of truth and Google stands by my side. As I open up to my girlfriend about the secret societies that control reality, she talks about her day. “There’s bigger things out there. Bigger than you and I,” I tell her. I just want her to know, so when everyone’s brought to the light, she doesn’t feel like a fool. Nowadays, I’m more discreet about the cabal facts. When she falls asleep I speak to her, truly speak to her. One time, she woke up and shared with me her dream. The world was ending and I was the only person with her. She said she was sad, that she feels like a recluse. But, I know it’s working-I’ve had that same dream multiple times. In my dream, I save her. She thinks I have deep rooted trust issues that spring from my childhood. I know she’s trying to get under my skin. I think she’s a good one, but she’s human and can be manipulated by everyone else. How dumb everyone else is. They’re always trying to make me think how they think, I won’t. It’s evil. I bumped into my old friend at the market today. It was brief, but we both agreed that things were crazy. That gave me hope, there might be a few wise people out there. Maybe he’ll be spared. Anyway friends, hope you’re well. My wife’s threatening a divorce if I don’t get off the internet. I might need you all more than ever. God bless.
From my Pulpit (Haiku)
I’ve built this pulpit
It sits on the atmosphere.
I’m very lonely.
The Genius of William Hyson Jr.
About a year ago I was driving my car while grumpy in midthought. I was thinking about something I often thought about, of which I had no control over. Hyson, who was sitting in the passenger seat, cackled. The palm of his hand met his forehead. “Sup,” I asked. “I just realized I wasn’t thinking anything at all the past few minutes.” He continued to laugh. I thought “If only it were that easy. Is it that easy?” I had to think more about it.
2021
I’d wake up, brew coffee, shower, then get dressed into something casual. Jeans, a button up, thick socks and slippers during the colder months. I’d make a greek yogurt parfait with granola, fruits, nuts and honey, then eat it while sipping coffee. It would sometimes upset my stomach. After, I’d boil hot water for tea, wash my dishes, grab three clementines, steep my tea and return to my bedroom where I’d watch a film. I had a projector, 120-inch screen, bookshelf speakers and single foldable chair setup in front of a TV tray. I also had a couch, bed and comfy padded chair that I’m currently using while typing this. I sat on a thin, flimsy, uncomfortable folding chair for the same reason I wore jeans and a button up over sweats, I wasn’t after being comfortable, I was after staying awake and maintaining focus for two or three hours. I wanted to be entertained and challenged, learning or feeling something.
Well ladi fricken da, a new year! COVID has catalyzed a lot of change, I’m excited to see what sticks and what reverts. One place in particular I’ll follow (because I’m always following) is the movie industry, particularly what happens with movie theaters. It’s a declining part of an industry and COVID has exacerbated this. I used the word exacerbated hoping to strike a chord among hardcore film enthusiasts, but I don’t think streaming makes things worse. I’ll used the word exacerbated as a half baked placeholder for the rest of this section on 2021 to define. What I am talking about: Movie theaters and streaming.
I bought some Disney shares at $132 a pop. I don’t like Marvel movies, I hate live-action remakes of cartoons, I think their business model will continue to be successful. Netflix set the standard, Disney is close behind, Warner Media is following, hell, even CBS has CBS All-Access. The internet absorbs all media. If something plays on a screen, it can play on your phone or in your house. Why play it anywhere else? You’ll have to move, it’ll cost more money and when something like the internet is a major convenience, everything else is inconvenient. Now, this doesn’t translate for everything. Messaging isn’t the same as talking to someone, liking a picture isn’t the same as telling someone “good job” and patting their back. Watching a movie on your phone isn’t the same as watching a movie in the theater, but there’s less of a tradeoff. The differences are of size and audio quality, not of button and flesh. I don’t care that things are moving online and theaters are dying out. It’s funny how, in order to get people to leave their home and go to theaters, theaters have made themselves more like homes. Theaters have installed couches trying to entice people to leave their homes. They’ve kept prices and options the same, they’ve relied on theaters being a part of culture to keep on. They have not created culture.
So, where does that leave 2021? Hopefully, creating better film communities. I wear gold tinted shades looking at summer.
The Weirdest Thing That Happened
I was at my dads, on his sofa, reading my phone after eating a bowl of ice cream and during my exhale I heard a hum, a wheeze that caught me off guard. I continued wheezing out while I inhaled. I swore people were at my dads earlier, but the house seemed empty. I put my hand to my chest, at first over my shirt, then under. I felt air coming from a small puncture in my skin. I breathed in and out and in and out and it’s been 10 years now. I’m still leaking.
Thoughts and Sentences
My brother had steam rushing out of his ears while he told my sister that “the liberals are trying to cancel Rudolph’s Shiny New Year”. Who the fuck is trying to cancel Christmas, Heat Miser?
Looking back at middle school, I remember a lot of dudes getting their balls kicked. You’d hear chatter during lunch, then during recess a leg would fly right up and into a guy’s sack.
I have empathy for anyone wishing respect. I have contempt for hubris. How to tell the difference?
Links
Living in your 90s - 60 Minutes looks back a groundbreaking 2014 report on factors that can lead to a longer, healthier life. The 95 year old who is “flying all over the place” is my personal hero.
Rabbit Hole - Audio series about how the internet is changing, and how it’s changing us. This is The Social Network 2.0 as a podcast. I’ve found this one important in shaping a healthy COVID-19 mindset. Some members in my family have grown extremely partisan during this time and partisanship is something that has a reverberating effect, amplifying each go around, sometimes causing extremism. Partisanship ain’t it, B. Get off the technology, B. You’ve gone crazy and haven’t realized it, B.
La Vie de Jésus - A social movie about current life in the north of France. Freddy and his friends are all unemployed. It’s in my top 10 films. Bruno Dumont is among my favorite filmmakers. It’s beautiful, harsh and poetic depicting the charms of a rural town, but also the unhappiness its delinquents have.